The Curse

By -




I love him.

I can’t help it.

He doesn’t want me but I crave him like he is my daily bread.

I have crossed oceans, well not literally but, I have gone the extra miles.

I have been a great companion, brought my “best” to the table.

He still didn’t want me. He didn't want me like I wanted him. He didn't want me like I wanted him to. (Does this tow the line of obsession? If not keep, if it does - expunge).

THE ROBBERY- A real life experience

I tried diverse tactics to rid the memory of him from my mind.

But I failed woefully even as every dress I wanted to wear, every place I tried to hang out, every food I tried eating, perfumes, even the silhouette of a stranger reminded me of him.

He was my soul mate. He had marked, eternally, into my soul the very essence of his being so badly.

No one was even interested in making me theirs.

And quite truthfully I didn’t want them to. In him I found an unexplainable satisfaction.

I only wanted one thing: Him.

He was in my waking and sleeping thoughts, if I was buying a socks, I’d buy two pairs cos I couldn’t be separate from him so I did everything necessary to make sure we were in sync - a 100 percent.

He on the other hand could not be bothered. 

My Yahoo Boy Experience 2

I mean how often do you see a girl that you do not want but she’s still willing to go all the way.

He didn’t have to do any work I had that covered for him.

So he had his fun, broke my heart every day with his actions and would come back with this cute boyish grin that I could never resist (oh that grin) and I’d let everything go, take him back like the prodigal son into the embrace of the loving expectant father.

He manipulated my love for him and I allowed it because I felt he was the one to fill the aching empty desire in my heart.

He could stay days without calling me and act like it was normal, while I would cry myself to sleep every night with the thoughts of him embedded in my heart of hearts.

 I am stuck on him, he’s like my favorite whisky or red wine, the thought of him intoxicates me.

Sometimes I’m worried that maybe I’m hypnotized because no matter how much he hurts me I still find myself drawn to him.

Maybe I’m cursed. Maybe it’s a punishment for the hearts I’ve broken in time past or maybe he’s just not worth all this trouble. Maybe.

So today I have decided to start the process of letting go, I’m sure it would be hard considering I have built my world around him, it might even be impossible but I have to try for my sanity else, I might take my life and then I would have been a proper fool for this emotion called love.



Say no to Self Toture
Welcome to Harobed Talks, hope you enjoy my mindless musings, experiences and imaginations.

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