THE ILLUSION!
Pain isn't something that gives you a choice as to the intensity or the severity. It kinda has a mind of its own. I once saw a poster for a pain killer I think IBEX or so and it read "pain is constant but suffering is optional" and that day it made so much sense to me cos I felt, there was sort of a cure for every pain no matter how intense, it could be rid off. This belief was so strong that when I experienced a pain I could not cure, I dared not believe it! I said "there has to be something, anything that could rid me of the pain I felt all over, physically , spiritually, emotionally and all the rest". So I kept searching for the cure at all cost, mindless of the consequences hoping that the pain would cease and the void would be filled. I tried every and anything from sleeping pills to pain killers to hard drugs to cigarettes to alcohol to sexual exploitation and yet that dull ever nagging pain just won't leave. I had lost all hope,in fac