THE ILLUSION!

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Pain isn't something that gives you a choice as to the intensity or the severity. It kinda has a mind of its own. 

I once saw a poster for a pain killer I think IBEX or so and it read "pain is constant but suffering is optional" and that day it made so much sense to me  cos I felt, there was sort of a cure for every pain no matter how intense, it could be rid off. This belief was so strong that when I experienced a pain I could not cure, I dared not believe it! I said "there has to be something, anything that could rid me of the pain I felt all over, physically , spiritually, emotionally and all the rest". So I kept searching for the cure at all cost, mindless of the consequences hoping that the pain would cease and the void would be filled. 

I tried every and anything from sleeping pills to pain killers to hard drugs to cigarettes to alcohol to sexual exploitation and yet that dull ever nagging pain just won't leave. 
I had lost all hope,in fact if there was a competition for Miss/Mr useless worldwide, the award would have been mine by right without any contender! 
I was a lost soul, doomed to wallow in the emptiness without hope of liberation, but yet people saw me and envied my sexual prowess and my drug intake as a conquest and it broke my heart that I couldn't teach them to be better because I myself I was LOST!
Would I ever be found? I can only dare but hope even when I know I am truly LOST forever. 

  

I was lost in self pity 
I was lost in self deceit 
I was lost in a belief that didn't deserve my belief 
I was too proud to let the world know 
Maybe who knows, their mindless criticism would be the jerk I needed to face reality 
And the reality was that, I actually never knew pain! Yes! It was just a figment in my imagination and as I pondered on it the more real it felt, not knowing that it was all a mirage! 
Now that I know this am sure you all would say "it's easy now just stop thinking on it and the pain would cease to be". But darlings , it's not that easy, it's just like you asking a Nigerian child to stop calling every condiment wrapped in a box like paper Maggi,but rather spice because Maggi is a brand name not a general name or stop calling every noodle indomie or stop calling every sausage roll gala because that's not the real identity. Nobody would listen to you, not because you're wrong, but rather cos it is now a generally accepted thing in the society. That my dear readers is the same way , this pain is a generally accepted thing (GAT) in my body, soul and spirit!
So the question now would be how do I get out of this ILLUSION? 
Welcome to Harobed Talks, hope you enjoy my mindless musings, experiences and imaginations.

Comments

  1. Ericadianas19 October 2017 at 11:11

    This is so relatable.... nice piece.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ericadianas19 October 2017 at 11:12

    This is so relatable.... nice piece.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown20 October 2017 at 00:08

    The pain is really an illusion. Because in other to find a cure to this pain you fisrt have to know the source.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Debbie Obierika20 October 2017 at 22:40

      That is so true and with time eventually you would find out that it was all in your head you just needed more time to let the idea of the pain go. Thanks darl

      Delete
  4. Unknown9 November 2017 at 13:27

    According to The International Association for the Study of Pain's widely used definition states: "Pain is an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage, or described in terms of such damage."
    This has been widely accepted and sold to all medical personnel, but I can sure tell u that in my practice, I have seen pain that exists only in the mind of the individual, pain that often recreated symptoms of several conditions, at times what such persons need would just be either an instant or gradual jolt of reality.
    Often very difficult, because it's more like an illusion as you have rightly spelt out, but it exists illusion or not IT EXIST. The only silver lining in it all is that pain can be said to be a good and a bad thing, bad for the at times excruciating feelings, but then good because it tells everyone that there is a problem. The identification of the cause may just be the way home.

    Once again nice work there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Debbie Obierika14 November 2017 at 07:58

      Wow! thank you so much for this contribution. It's good to know that it is a relatable piece

      Delete

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